Britain’s favourite war criminal is contemplating a return to ‘frontline politics’, which is ironic given his propensity for sending other’s people’s children off to be killed on ‘actual’ frontlines. In another completely unconnected story, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair welcomed the timing of Theresa May’s intention to protect human-rights abusers from prosecution.
Admittedly the Chilcot Report labelled Mr Blair’s plans for the Iraqi conflict as ‘wholly inadequate’, stopping just short of naming the former Prime Minister as a ‘weasel-faced lying sack of shit’. Yet having established peace in the Middle East, in his role as ‘special envoy for multi-national banks’, Mr. Blair could be just the man to unify the Labour Party.
Mr. Blair has confided that he has unfinished business in terms of deregulating the financial sector, privatising the NHS and ‘making the UK feel really bad about itself’. Friends say he has already drawn up plans to re-gain the centre-ground and drawn up evidence of WMD caches – ‘just in case’.
One voter commented: ‘The public are sick of the duplicity of Jeremy Corbyn and want a return to the honest era of politics that Tony stood for. With all the problems of the world over the last few years, who hasn’t said – what we need here is a Tony Blair. How else are we going to make Donald Trump look qualified?’